2020 Week 05

Packers 30 Failcons 16

First Quarter Report to the Committee/Atlanta Review

In review of aging news, Aaron Rodgers (27/33, 327 yards, 4 TD zero INT, 147.5 passer rating) led the team to a relatively easy hometown victory in the latest town hall stop in his MVP campaign (12 TD, 1214 yards, zero INT, undefeated record, another clean jersey).

After the Packers clipped the Falcons, making them misguided yardbirds, Atlanta owner Arthur Blank fired the GM and Head Coach Dan Quinn. He cited not only their dismal (0-4) record, but their losing culture since choking the Super Bowl to Everybody’s All-American Mar-ried to a Brazilian Super-model “GOAT.” I said before the Falcons game that Quinn was “deader than fried chicken,” win or lose. I was right. I mean, not literally. He’s still breathing, and my Popeye’s doesn’t even flinch when I tear into it…

We are at the end of the “first quarter” of the 2020 season. At (4-0), there are all the usual predictions, “this % to do this” and “that % to do that.” I know that I don’t like bye weeks as a fan in general, but I really don’t like them when the team is hot and on a roll. But I can’t deny that health is a big issue with these guys, and the extra time off will no doubt help bring our current semblance of “full-strength” to the party…

Rodgers on the bye week and having to stay locked down in Green Bay: “It sucks. It totally sucks…I look forward to the bye weeks. We’ll make the most of it, but it sucks.” Based on his copious use of the word, I think he was trying to say it sucks. But that’s about all that sucks at the moment in Aaron’s World. He is protected and redirected. He is happy. He has cast off the yoke of Mike McCarthy, and the joke of Danica Patrick. Last season, he was tired like he just gave your Aunt Gerty a piggy-back ride and still led us to (13-3). That was then, this is now. That was Obama, this is Trump. The truth serum has led to the youth serum

Clearly, Rodgers has bought in to LaFleur’s scheme, and I am also a 100% true believer. Pass me the Kool Aid (spiked). This system has more moving parts than a block of clock shops, and has made stars out of guys that would otherwise be watching at home on their rented furniture. Turning negatives into positives, the relationship has clearly improved, depth has shown itself, talk of decline has shifted. Maybe we weren’t the worst (13-3) team in NFL history.

Aaron: “I sometimes laugh when people talk about (my) down years…because a lot of times down years for me are career years for most QBs.”

Although we may actually need help at WR, the return of Equanameous St Brown (EQ) to the receiver corps will be bigger than you think. Insiders have said he is the perfect fit for the scheme. Although undrafted Krys Barnes at LB from UCLA has been a diamond in the rough, the return of LB Kamal Martin (no relation to the VP candidate) will really stabilize the inside of the defense. He was the unofficial “star” of training camp…

PREAMBLE!?! Ok, ok, OK! I know you’ve been waiting eagerly and patiently since I released the teaser of my new ditty. And you were no doubt hoping the full version would drop in the Bye-Week Edition. But for many reasons, legit-imate and otherwise, I was unable to get it together by then. Contract issues. I can’t really talk about it. Nondis-closure Agreement and all…

“I’m a Soldier, not a Monster.” And so, I will torture you no more. It’s time to go back to your living rooms, 1976 or so, and sit down on the shag, wait for whatever cartoon to end, because that’s when the familiar jingle-toon would come on…Yes! One of my favorites, it helped millions of kids learn the words of that magical document in our history:

“The Preamble.” Sing along to our adapted version, para-phrased for our more focused purpose: The Packamble:

“We the Packers, in order to form a more perfect offense, establish running and insure aerial superiority; Provide a much better defence (sic), promote the improving players, and secure the blessings of more TDs; to ourselves and to all of the league, do ordain and establish this Packer Nation, for the United ‘Backers, of Titletown”

Excellent! On to Tampa and the Bucs. Not sure how many Tampanians will be in atten-dance. Sorry, my mistake. To the locals who evidently find the term “Tampanians” offensive, I’ll use their preferred term: “Tampans.” Why isn’t “Tampans” offensive? I don’t know about you, but “Tampans” evokes a twitchy memory response of all those times I’ve slinked in and out of CVS with a box of Kotex for my wife. That’s offensive…

“Tampa” means “sticks of fire” in the native Calusa tribal lan-guage. Scholars disagree on the origin. Some scholars say it’s because of the frequent lightning strikes which are characteristic of the area. Others say it’s descriptive of their ancient methods of forestry and fire management. In an obvious parallel, Tom Brady appeared to questionably flash four fingers at the end of the Bucs’ loss last week. Some scholars believe he actually forgot that it was fourth down. Others say he made a terrible decision to throw a pass way short of the first down sticks and simply claims he forgot the down. In any case, it’s further indication that AR12 is a far superior player to TB12 at this point, right here, right now. Maybe the script has flipped on how the relative “systems” have impacted each Hall of Famer. Brady is no longer in Belichick’s, Rodgers is fully engaged in LaFleur’s. Result: the Packers are scoring more than Ron Jeremy at an 80’s fluffer casting call in the red light district…

OVERTIME: Thanks to all who joined the party and submitted items to the special Bye Week Edition of this fine and distinguished publication. You all added to (and likely surpassed) our previously unmatched legacy. Some great stuff, maybe the best pot-luck edition I can remember. Remember, everybody loves a story, and some find a love for telling them as well…

LOCKER ROOM: Rumors of Lewis and Clark’s absence were obviously greatly exaggerated. I know I speak for “Back Door Man” Clark when I say we were there before, we’re there now, and we will be there tomorrow. It doesn’t stop. It never stops. We are not like those candy-asses Marcedes and Kenny, who obviously have a lot of work to do to redeem themselves moving forward…

Nationally Enquiring minds want to know: Elkhart High School (WI) is still undefeated at (6-0), but slipped out of the 6A top ten because they’ve played two games fewer than many because of the Chinese Virus. Just one more reason to raise the flag and give China and this abomination the middle-finger salute… Go, Pack, GO!!!

(Kraig Lewis)

Just Sayin’

 And there you have it. Our secret weapon. Robert Tonyan. Of course, he is no secret now. I can imagine the Defensive Coordinator of Tompa Bay saying “CRAP” (or some similar word) when watching the film. Tonyan has said recently that he does yoga and that has helped. I wonder if those yoga classes include some tumbling classes. The route where he was tripped by the defender, fell, did a forward roll and got up to wave “Hey, I’m open. Throw me the ball.” And scored. That was great ! ! The Packers have a week off. When they go to Tampa, they will have Adams back, healthy. Both of our top 2 backs can run and catch. Then, there’s Tyler Ervin, who can do it all as well, including returning punts and kicks. And now, we have a TE that cannot be ignored. Actually, we have 3 TEs, when you add in Jace Sternberger and Marcedes Lewis. The TE part of the offense gets even better. Now, Sternberger and Lewis were not really a factor in the Falcons game, but they proved their meddle against the Saints. So, do not lay low on those last 2 either. And then Rodgers is having one of the best years of his career up to this point. What is a defensive coordinator supposed to do?. I am hoping that he is having to get out of bed at night and take a sleep aid because he can’t sleep. It looks like we may not see Allen Lazard again this season, or at least for several weeks, However, we won the game and the 2 young guys got some valuable, real game experience. And I am sure Darius Sheppard has received some direction about how far downfield to go before making his cut. Again, when Sheppard was stopped at the 1 foot line, why was A.J Dillon not brought in? 

Once again, the defense allowed the other side to matriculate the ball down the field. But they came up with big plays when they were needed. I’ll tell ya, when an offense gets the ball on their own half yard line, and drives practically the entire length of the field, and then have to settle for a FG, the defense rose up when it needed to. And Z-man went off on Matt Ryan 3 times. It seemed like there was some good pressure on Ryan for much of the game. The Falcons have 2 top notch receivers. Now, Julio Jones was a little gimpy coming in and had to leave the game due to the hamstring. But Calvin Ridley had not one catch as I recall.  I don’t know if the Packers will be able to bring Kevin King back next year, but he and Alexander make a good pair of CBs. For the most part, the secondary played pretty good. We also have some young LBs getting some valuable experience. I don’t know if anyone else caught it, but when the announcer made the comment about J Scott being a candidate for the Witness Protection Program, I thought that was a hoot. So far, I have no real, legitimate complaints about this season. Or the roster for that matter.  
Just Sayin’
(Jimmy Smith)


The great news is the Pack is now 4-0!  The not so great news was that the Pack played a night game two weeks in a row—and then the kickoff was delayed.  That did not undermine the 32 Packer backers who met at Spare Time on Monday night to cheer and get rowdy!  Joining us Monday night was Bobbie Rogers, visiting from New Berlin, WI. Come visit any time you’re in the neighborhood.

Eight great door prizes went home with those lucky enough to get their number drawn this week.  117 Nick Papala, 566 Brittany Tomlin, and 453 Leon Stenzel chose tee shirts, and 328 Marge Bramlett will warm up under her wrap.  242 Cristina Harrison will sport a wallet with matching key chain.  542 Kathie Mervyn will rest with her new neck pillow, while 221 Barb Gambrell will lean on her auto headrest covers.  And all the while 567 Steven Clancey will toast the Packers with his new Pilsner glasses. 

We had one $1 board.  Congratulations to winners 506 Sebastian Sharpe, 450 Stacey Stewart, and 542 Kathie Mervyn (2).

The correct answer to the trivia question was provided by 127 Kent Sargent.  He is the lucky winner of a $25 gift card from our great friends at Spare Time whose generosity is much appreciated!

This week at half-time we will draw the winner of the Bye-Week Trivia contest ($25 cold hard club cash) and the drawing for the DVD “Legacy” winner.

I look forward to seeing you all 10/18 to see the Pack take on “Tommy” Bay.  For now (Flex time season) it’s scheduled for 4:25.  Even though kickoff is later, at least this one isn’t a night game… yet! See you sometime this Sunday!  Until then—stay safe and healthy—through thick and thin…
Marge 328

Packer’s    vs.   Tommy Bay

I don’t follow professional football.  I really don’t.  Oh sure, I’ll watch it if nothing else is on like Tuesday night.  I detest Jane Lynch, so The Weakest Link is out, I find the entire show kind of mean-spirited anyway, and I’m damn-sure not watching the Bachelorette!  So other than watching the dreck that is cable, I watched the Bills/Titans game.  But that’s as far as it goes.  I didn’t see Dak Prescott get hurt, didn’t see any games this weekend, don’t feel like I missed anything.

I will say this:  Yes, these men are professional football players, that is their occu-pation.  They play in a public forum.  This affords them some celebrity.  Despite the fact that they went to college and majored in “football,” they have experienced lives that most of us can’t imagine.  I can’t imagine what it’s like to be stopped, pulled out of a car and questioned because of the color of my skin and I’m in the “wrong neighborhood.”  I can’t imagine being stopped because I “look suspicious.”  I can’t imagine being gunned down in my own home because the police can’t verify the location of a suspect, so they come kicking in my door.  I also can’t imagine being thrown on the ground, restrained by 2 cops while in handcuffs while a third kneels on my neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds while a fourth cop looks on!  I DO NOT AGREE with Laura Ingraham that these players should “shut up and dribble!”  They want to kneel during the playing of the National Anthem, link arms, bow their heads, wear sayings on the back of their helmets, more power to them.  I swore an oath years ago to support and defend the Constitution, that includes the First Amendment, and I don’t care what color your skin is! 

End of Soap box!

Getting back to following professional football:  I don’t know if the Tampa Bay Bucs are any good.  I’ve heard anecdotes about Tom Brady having “Senior moments,” and not playing particularly well, but that’s about it.  I have never thought much about Brady, or much of him either.  He seems smug in press conferences when he wins, he says all the right things when they lose, but there’s also the unspoken look in his eyes, “and when this is over, I get to sleep with Gisele Bundchen tonight!”  I disliked his antics when they were losing on the sidelines, yelling at players, throwing his helmet, I was like, “Grow Up!”    I thought he was a decent player who was well coached in New England.  Now I think he’s a decent player who is coached in Tampa. 

I DO KNOW that The Green Bay Packers are the King of the North!  They are a perfect 4-0, they have used baling wire and spit to win for 2 and a half games against some pretty stiff competition.  Aaron Rodgers is playing angry; he hasn’t thrown a pick or had a turnover in the first 4 games.  No other team in the NFL can match that.  They ALL have had turn overs except for the Packers.

Za’darius Smith was the NFL Defensive Player of the Week last week.  Powered no doubt by his 3 sacks against Matt Ryan and his pass disrupting play at OLB.  We hope that DC Mike Pettine has the D ready to play both ways against the run and pass that Bruce Arians has Tampa doing equally well sometimes, since they are 3-2, last week losing to Duh Bears who as we all know STILL SUCK!!  Nick Foles led the Midway Bruins to a squeaking 1-point win.  We haven’t played Chicago yet, and a loss to a common opponent doesn’t guarantee victory.  The Packers are in the top 5 in the 3 main offensive metrics though. 

We are 5th in Passing Yards per game, 4th in Rushing Yards per Game, and 2nd in Total Yards per Game.  The Bucs are 12th, 25th, and 19th in the same metrics. 

I wasn’t able to see the injury report, so I don’t know if DaVante will be healthy.  I do know that Robert Tonyan hasn’t been mentioned as being hurt since last Monday’s game, so he should be able to go.  This is a National Game and will be on local Fox Television.  I will not be in the area.  I’ll be listening to the dulcet tones of Wayne Larivee and Larry McCarren as I drive to New Jersey (by choice!).  Hopefully I’ll hear and “and THERE is your DAGGER!” at the end of the game.  So if you go to Spare Time or eat your wings at home, wash your hand, wear your mask, don’t touch your face, and of course, ALL HAIL THE KING IN THE NORTH!!
(Ken Hill)